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| Intently watching his sing-along-songs. |
So...our house got a little bit messy.
Just a schmidge. Ok, a whole lot. At one point I couldn't open our bathroom door because of the pile of clothes behind it. I also thought I lost a kid in the mountain of toys in the living room, but thankfully it was one of the older ones; they're really good at fending for themselves!
I titled this blog post "Being Thankful" because - well, paradoxically, a lot of sh*#@y things happened to our family the last two months. How am I thankful? I need to start with the beginning, for you to understand the end.
At the beginning of October I found out that our son Jude, was not adapting well to JK. Even though he had passed the pre-JK program from the summer, Jude was not liking the actual classes of JK, because he realized - they were not going to end after a couple of weeks. Also, he was being bullied by two of his male classmates, and some of the teachers at this particular French school in Ottawa, do not speak a word of English. Yep. That's right. In the heart of Ottawa. Not a word of English.
I broke down. My daughter had had bullying problems at the same school the year before, but it was a new experience for both of us, and I thought to myself: this must be a normal 'thing' in school now, you see it everywhere, and at any age! But, this wasn't bullying, (or so I thought), this is Jude shutting down.
My husband held me, and told me what I had been hearing since our daughter came home with her first bout of bullying; we need to transfer them to another school.
Two days later we visited the new school, and Jude started to open up to his father. He told him that there were two boys in his class who always pushed him into walls, and did this in class and at recess. He also tried telling the teachers, but they didn't understand him. I don't care at what age or how 'new' I was to this whole school thing, (for Pete's sake, I taught in MTL for a year, ages 12-18), a student should always be able to tell a teacher, and be UNDERSTOOD, about their feelings, especially when it comes to their own physical and emotional security. Jude's behaviour leading up to the transfer had also changed significantly, he no longer wanted to cuddle or hug me, and would not look me in the eye. All he wanted was his dad (which Andrew LOVED). My way of interpreting the above: mom nurtures me, and dad protects me.
So, that was our first hurdle, and Jude is doing ok at school, although, he's not entirely adapting to the idea of school going beyond the next month. Aila also had her first friend over, which would have never happened at the other school, since there were no means of communicating with parents.
About two weeks later, and I'll keep this short, I totaled our family van in a car accident that was entirely my fault. We had the van paid off as of last year, (it took us three years to pay it off at EXTREMELY high payment rates), and I totaled it. The good news: every one is ok. We are still driving the rental van, as it has taken our insurance company this long to get a quote to us...we still don't know how much we're getting back...
During these ordeals I've had to deal with my waning health. I have highs, and I have lows. With the new medication I'm on, it feels like I have a perpetual flu bug. Andrew has had to hold me in the early morning hours to keep the chills away. It hasn't been fun.
Then, *ray of light* we discovered Wyatt was doing so well on his feeds, that he was getting fed 180 mls at a rate of 320, in layman's terms: he's getting fed in a half hour!!! Which was AWESOME. (Plus an extra 20 ml above his usual feed)!
Mom thinks: let's feed him more. Let's FATTEN him up!!!
Dad thinks: let's go to four feeds. So, you can go to bed earlier than 11 pm.
Andrew convinces me four feeds is better than five, and Wyatt's gaining, albeit slowly, and we need to focus on our end goal: get Wyatt onto four feeds. Within two weeks of meddling with feeds, Wyatt ends up in CHEO because he was vomiting blood. Do we think it's from increasing his volume from 180 to 225? It's hard to say. We were admitted for 8 days, initially for vomiting blood and dehydration, but in mid-week he had to be put on IV antibiotics because of an ear infection, so that's what kept us there for so long. That, and the fact it has taken him especially long to get to a 2.5 hr feed. Gone are the days of thirty minute feeds.
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| CHEO yoga. |
We've only been home for a day, and I know Wyatt is happy. The little guy cannot talk, but we know, he is happy to be home. I have a feeling it may be short, as he vomited a little bit of blood on us earlier in the day, so we may be in CHEO by the end of the week. Thankfully, I have a nurse to help me, because this time last year, I was on my own. I still remember how STRESSED I was at all times: it was not fun being a mom. It felt like work being performed by a medically trained person. Moms are meant to cuddle, nurse(*) and feed. My job was taken over with suctioning, feeding rates, volumes, and oxygen saturation monitoring. With all of the bad things that have happened to us, I have perspective now, which allows me to see things in a different light. I am thankful for the Present Wyatt, because the Past Wyatt scared the living-beejesus out of me on a daily basis. The Present Wyatt smiles. The Now Wyatt signs. MY Wyatt is doing better, even if it's at a very, very slow pace. He has a character, and those who know him, love him. I am thankful that he is alive, and we are still a whole family.
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| Hanging out in the recently renovated fire place. |
We're all in such a rush these days, a rush to get our babies into school, rushed to get them to learn things we wouldn't know ourselves until years later, rushed to get things DONE, that if we just took things a little bit more slowly, took our time and appreciated the moment for what it was, maybe things would end up in a better place in the end.
*I use the term nurse, as in to nurture, breastfeed and tend to.
